Psychological exploration: how terrible “early love” is
Liu Li is a beautiful and sweet girl. She is a senior in a famous high school.
When she came to the hospital for consultation, she was very impressed with her dress: she had short hair, a men’s casual sweatshirt, and the color of the jumpsuit and sneakers was “neutral”.You can’t see the colors and characteristics of a little girl.
As soon as she started talking, she opened her eyes: “I want to consult an expert and want to solve a psychological problem that has puzzled me for several years.
How do you interact with the opposite sex?
Does high school student dating have a positive effect on learning, or is it as harmful and useless as teachers and parents say?
Are there any precedents for middle school students who both fall in love and are both admitted to college?
How to deal with early love can promote learning instead of affecting academic performance?
Can I take care of the boys in the class?
I listened to her can’t wait to ask questions. The specialist Ma Yan, Deputy Director of the Children’s and Children’s Ward of Wuhan Mental Health Center, guessed that her confusion was related to emotions, so she asked patiently: “Is there a boy you have with each other?”Feel good?
“I want to know, how terrible is it that I escaped the early love complex for more than two years?”
Why do you think so?
Isn’t first love beautiful?
“Isn’t it terrible?”
Liu Li said puzzledly. “When I was in the third grade, I had the same table. She was smart, beautiful, and had good grades. She fell in love with a guy in the class. As a result, their academic performance plummeted. They didn’t even have ordinary high school during the middle school entrance examinationPassed.
Later, my mother repeatedly said to me, “Don’t love early!
If you fall in love, even if you have a good learning foundation and no matter how clever your brain is, your academic performance will go downhill, let alone get into a good school!
So I listened to my mother and never interacted with boys. As a result, I was promoted to the best key high school with satisfactory results.
“Yes, it is not appropriate for middle school students to fall in love, but it is not necessary to have a correct understanding. What are you worried about now?
“Liu Liuli groaned for a long time, as if she had made up her mind, and slowly said,” I’m afraid of the boy’s gaze. ”
I didn’t dare to turn around in class, because I was worried about coming back into contact with a guy’s eyes.
In fact, I am not afraid of the eyes of the boys, but I am afraid that the boys like me, that they will pursue me, and that this may hinder their studies and ruin their future.
Therefore, in class, I didn’t even dare to turn around flexibly, for fear that the boys thought I would watch them, and then I would have trouble.
I never dress myself and always wear outdated clothes just to not attract the attention of boys.
But now, I feel like I’m too depressed and my studies have become boring.
The college entrance exam is about to start. The day before yesterday I received a dating note from the boy and asked me to go for a walk.
I really don’t know what to do.
“You want to accept the invitation and go out for a walk with him, don’t you?
“Liu Li hesitated for a while, and finally nodded:” But my mother said that dating with a boy is equal to early love equals abandonment of schoolwork, and this is also an example proved by lessons.
I dare not.
“ “早恋恐惧”比“早恋”更可怕 马筠主任介绍说，刘丽是一个单纯向上的好姑娘，妈妈的话让她一直背负着沉重的十字架，对男女同学之间的正常交往避之唯恐不及That’s why I’m so nervous.
She hadn’t been alone with any of the boys, let alone talking.
But now that the college entrance examination is imminent, she is highly anxious. Behind the anxiety is a fierce inner conflict.
The mother’s teachings made her think that the door to normal communication with the boys should be firmly closed, but the awareness of growth and development that began to awakened her desire to interact with the boys. Therefore, in this conflict, her learning efficiency declined and she became the mostFear things.
There is no doubt that Liu Li suffered from “early love phobia.”
Director Ma emphasized that “early love phobia” is more scary than “early love”.
Liu Li was afraid of the eyes of the boys, afraid to talk to them, and received a note from the boys, which was even more disturbed. This fear has seriously affected her normal life and study.
How to desensitize her?The first should be a change of mind, and her parents play a key role in this.
Director Ma Yan suggested that Liu Li should communicate more with her mother when she returned home, so that the mother understands that the views inculcated on her daughter have caused changing psychological pressure on the child. The mother should slowly change her wrong view of the exchange between boys and girls.Society is advancing. The exchange between boys and girls is actually quite simple and normal. Men and women can often talk about each other, but it is complicated by their parents’ imagination.
If middle school students fall in love with learning, which is more terrible than the damage to mental health caused by “early love phobia”?
In fact, the harm caused by completely prohibiting the exchange of students of the opposite sex is more harmful than the harm caused by early love!
Peers need psychological comfort from a large number of psychological consultation cases. It can be understood that most middle school students do not want to overlap early love. The key is that boys and girls who do not want early love also need heterosexual intercourse. In the practice of heterosexual intercourse, they onlyCan know what to do to avoid early love.
These are two aspects of a problem. The important thing is to grasp the appropriateness. As long as you are “sentimental, only courteous,” normal exchanges between male and female students are beneficial to human health.
Many parents are afraid that their children will fall in love early and guard against death, but they often fail to get good results. The problem lies in the lack of openness of the mind and the lack of healthy concepts. The final victim is the child they are least willing to hurt.
Director Ma Yi gave Liu Li a psychotherapy prescription: he chatted with the boys twice a week, more than 20 minutes at a time.
Facts have proved that the contact between boys and girls is not terrible. In addition to early love, there is also a sincere friendship between boys and girls.
Psychological comfort among peers is most effective.
After adjustment, Liu Li has overcome her worry.
She said: “It turns out that boys are not terrible. They are like my older brother and younger brother. They can see my weaknesses clearly. They have given me a lot of help and inspiration in my studies and life.Together, I feel safe and happy.
Finally I was able to let go of my burden and learn with ease.