Forcing children to grow as they wish is soft violence
From the age of 9, Xiao Yang (pseudonym), 19, was used to running away from home.
From an early age, his relationship with his mother was like water and fire, incompatible.
“In her eyes, I’m useless, and she makes me feel like I’m a debt owed. I have to live exactly as she planned to live with her.
“Xiao Yang is very distressed now. He said that his mother did give him a lot of material, but he couldn’t stand his mother’s attitude towards himself.
”Looking for a child” is a strong expectation of each child from his parents.
Psychologically speaking, many parents regard their children as their own “imaginary objects”, hoping to use their children’s hard work to achieve some of their “dreams”, their own setbacks, failures, shame, prosperity and decline, etc.Form a huge mountain of sustenance.
However, the child was “disobedient” because of heavy pressure and heavy pressure, unable to take the helm, so the parents even accused even more.
The mentality of love has practiced “forced” behavior, which will be fatal to children’s growth.
It may not only form a lingering shadow in the child’s young mind, but also cause psychological disorders.
Psychological depression could not be resolved, and kindness could not be released. Xiao Yang used running away from home to fight against “revenge.”
Maybe it’s not terrible to run away from home, what’s terrible is “get used to it.”
You know, behind a certain habit, there is a kind of fatigue: emotion, or helplessness.
When the child’s inner corruption feels to a certain strength, when the inner flood is full and the heart dam collapses, it will inevitably be in danger like a “dam lake”.
At this time, the child’s “revenge” behavior became the common sadness of parents and children.
From the Xiaoyang incident, we see the hidden worries in family education, and at the same time reflect the shortcomings of “exam management” under some quality education.
Well-known German sociologist U?
Baker first proposed the concept of risk society. This risk includes political, economic, social, and military, and it is divided into social risk and personal risk.
Parents teach their children as “personal property” for training. Once an individual’s will deviates from the rules of family education, it is very easy for an unpredictable “personal risk.”
And the cost of cracking “personal risk” will become extremely heavy: for children, youth is wasted and astray due to rebellion; social anxiety, adding instability factors, and expanding potential “social risks”.
Forcing children to grow according to their own intentions is a typical type of domestic “soft” violence.
Giving children more encouragement, giving them more compliments, and using sincerity and probation to get rid of the entanglement in their hearts are issues that every parent should consider.
For the healthy growth of children, please do not let their “non-violence and non-cooperation” intensify. Please do not “force” children to be separated from the harmonious family wall.
Once so, we will see countless wandering at the door of the house, helpless and indifferent lonely figure.